Friday, January 4, 2008

Face Lift - Proof That Older Males Do Understand Women

Janet had arrived at that age of 50 and, like every woman she paid constant attention to her image in the mirror. Noticing and worrying about those few age lines she decided, like many other women these days, to have a light face-lift because it would give her a real boost in life. She had the money to cover the costs of the face-lift and booked the surgery.

Obviously there was time frame following the face lift before she would present her new image to the world in general. By that time however, her vain womanly reviews in the mirror indicated an excellent result. She felt good, she was a new woman, even her husband approved, so she felt ready to impress all and sundry with her new face lift. Being a woman however, she still had to seek further independent assurance.

Venturing out for the first time since her face-lift Janet visited the local supermarket, gathered her shopping and, while at the payment desk casually asked the operator 'what age do you think I am?' 'Oh! About 32' the operator replied. Janet felt over the moon, 'I'm 50 actually she replied' with a nice smile of satisfaction.

Next the pharmacy where she plucked up the courage to asks the fellow there what age he thought she was - '29' came the reply. With her confidence now blooming 'Actually I'm 50' she told the fellow. 'Well miss I would never have placed you at that age' he replied. Janet was now on the way to a state of euphoria her face lift was indeed a success.

Feeling on top of the world she pops into her local MacDonald's for a quick lunch and, once again was unable to refrain from asking the young serving girl to assess her age. Once again her confidence was assured at the reply of 35 or less. 'I'm 50 actually' she told the server with some womanly pride.

After lunch Janet, with a bounce in her step, set of to get the bus home. As she waited at the bus stop and elderly man came up and stood waiting along side. Being a woman, Janet just had to have another opinion on her face lift and plucked up the courage to strike up a conversation where she could casually slip the question as to how old he thought she might be.

Well my dear he replied, I'm nearly 70 years old and my eyesight is not the best. However, from experience I do know one guaranteed way to tell the exact age of any woman. That was an intriguing statement for any mere mature woman and of course her natural inbuilt female curiosity demanded that she ask him how. "Well my dear, it's a little bit personal in that I can only do so by feeling your breasts and that might be somewhat embarrassing for you' the elderly man replied.

As they waited in silence on the empty street Janet's female curiosity kicked-in and in a short while she could stand it no longer, she plucked up the courage and said 'OK what the hell, there's no one around so go ahead and prove it' The elderly gentleman then proceeded to slide his hands under her blouse and bra, feeling around very slowly and carefully. With an expression of deep concentration he continues to cup and weigh each breasts and finger the nipples. After a couple of minutes Janet becomes somewhat concerned and impatient, 'Ok old fellow that should be enough, How old do you think I am?" She demanded.

He gently withdraws his hands and confidently said - 'My dear you are exactly 50 years of age'--Janet, like any other woman was totally intrigued and somewhat shocked and amazed - 'How on earth could you tell' she asked the older gentleman.

The older gentleman, with a look of deep contemplation said - 'Well, I suppose it's all based on the natural male logic, observation and sensual assessment of the older man' -'What exactly does that mean' asked Janet.

'Well My dear, if you sincerely promise not to get too upset or mad, then I will let you into the secret"-- 'Good God I'm a mature woman, Of course I won't get upset' said Janet who like any other woman could not possibly resist the answer to such a secret - "Tell me'

'Well my dear' replied the elder gentleman - 'apart from my natural experienced assessment abilities I just happened to be standing in line behind you when you ordered your lunch in MacDonald's'

How did Janet react? Exactly as the elder gentleman knew she would. A slight facial flush of indignation that was immediately overridden by an immense expression of relief as her feminine vanity kicked in with the full realization that her facelift had indeed been an immense success.

Moral: Curious Mature chicks should beware of experienced, logical, lecherous old men

Ted Burgess turned to the computer late in life as a mental rehabilitation tool after heart attacks and strokes. Women are but one of the subjects of his interest these days see: http://www.assetsoflife.com/The-Relationships-Place/home.htm.

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